I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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