So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
