No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
