lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
