we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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