new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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