pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i think i just lost a toe
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
