My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
