Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
