all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
