Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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