I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do you have feelings for this penis?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
