You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
