What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
