spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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