Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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