wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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