my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
