i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
