Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
