It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
