Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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