I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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