Whod you bang
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
