Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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