I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
