my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
