Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
