Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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