Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
