Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
