Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
