I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
