the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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