You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
