you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
