just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
