Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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