Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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