Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
