i wish my penis had a tongue
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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