Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
