Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
