I didn't shave. On purpose
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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