after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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