Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
