What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
