I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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