There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
