there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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