how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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