I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
