The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
