Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
