mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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