it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
