I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
