A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize