dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
